Sometimes children lie -- because they're afraid.
Sometimes children lie because they have become afraid of the person they are lying to.
If you think your child is experimenting with lying, begin by writing down every time you observe it happen. What situation did it appear in? What brought it about? You can also keep a chart. You may begin to discern patterns.
9 personality characteristics that parents can notice within the first few months of a baby's life:
This list is to whet your appetite for further reading. Check out the book at your local library.
Berger suggests that children can be stretched in the following 5 of the 9 categories: 1, 3, 6, 8, 9.
Anything can be made into a matching game. Just look around your house. Do you have two forks? Two noodles? The point is, you don't have to go out and buy anything to make a matching game.
In matching, the brain is being wired in both pre-math and pre-reading ways to notice what's alike and what's different. For example, how does a child learn to differentiate between an "a" and a "d"? They need to see all the parts of something before they decide if they are the same or different.
So, starting when children are toddlers, begin to simply notice and name the difference in things. Big rock, small rock. Two different leaves. You can mention similarities as well. Then point out the differences. Two different balls. Mention size, color, etc. This is the first step. Just notice and point out things that are the same and different in everyday life.
Does your gene pool have learning challenges in the mix: ADD/ADHD/autism/dyslexia? Studies of children diagnosed with autism show that early intervention has helped to the point that the autism was undetectable. There are also early intervention techniques for physical challenges. Almost any problem that presents itself in childhood can be helped if we work with the child in fun and helpful ways. Involving as many senses as possible in the learning process including physical activities is a key factor. If the body can move while learning, by the time a child is school-age the brain will have made all kinds of new connections.
Maria Montessori, the first female doctor in 19th century Italy, saw children labelled "mentally retarded" and believed they could learn. She broke everything down into small components and taught using the body through doing activities that laid the groundwork for math, language, and all other learning. After Montessori worked with them, the same children with these labels on their identity were then able to pass the exams taken by "normal" children.
Let's look at some ways to employ this technique to break math down into small parts. For a child to learn math it has to be pieced apart:
The development of the ability for delayed gratification can be done from an early age. Increasing one's attention span will eventually affect many aspects of life from saving money to controlling a temper or facing temptation to do the wrong thing. It is important to start at the beginning.
The fact is the younger the age, the shorter the attention span. Infants have needs that should be met immediately. They need to know that their needs will be taken care of and this is exactly where they should be at developmentally. Toddlers have enough ability to wait with distraction or accept help to accomplish the thing for which they're waiting. Preschoolers can be stretched to increase their ability to wait with some help.
If you're curious where your child's attention span is at, try this little test... Place a raisin or M&M under a cup making sure your child sees what you're doing. Then explain that they can pick up the cup and eat it AFTER you ring the bell. (You can do this with lunch food or anything you approve of but keep it small so they don't fill up too quickly.) For the first ringing of the bell, ring right away. On the second attempt, ring the bell after a few seconds' delay. With each subsequent ringing, lengthen the time by a little longer each turn to try to stretch them. Some children will be able to wait and some won't. If they cannot wait for the bell, still watch the clock and ring the bell anyway as they will have to wait for it on the next round. Don't get upset. This is just an area to work on. Sidenote: don't play this when they're really hungry but when they still want a little food, like at snack time.
In our final hoop installment, we'll look at how to use hoops to teach more complex ideas while keeping it user-friendly for children. Preschoolers cannot think with adult logic but they can grasp more intellectually by using tangible objects, for example using hoops to learn sorting.
When using hoops to teach sorting make sure only two varieties (colors/shapes) are being used. For a 2 year old, place the hoops on the ground next to each other and present a group of circles and squares that can be sorted into the hoop for circles and the hoop for squares. The same could be done with two colors. In general, most two year olds can grasp this concept. For three year olds, it is always best to start with two varieties. If this is easy, move to three options to sort and so on with four varieties of color/shape, etc.
When the child is using their body to sort by placing/throwing the object into the hoop for that specific category, this helps them learn faster and better. It also helps with physical development. Keep this activity simple for the first four and a half years of life. The approach should be to try a game and if it doesn't work try again in a couple of months. Try to find a way to involve the child's body. Some children need to feel to learn (just as we do when making letters out of sandpaper for them to trace with their fingers).
Children tend to not handle change well. Their brain has trouble shifting gears, similar to a railway car in need of assistance to shift tracks. Some children are better with change than others. This is based on personality or temperament. But regardless of their personality or temperament, there are ways we can help our children learn to deal with life’s inevitable challenges that come with change.
If you can have a fairly stable routine (e.g. “This is what we do at this time of day…”), children tend to relax and exhale at the thought of knowing what is coming next.
Children need to know what is expected of them and that it is not going to change. If you make a rule, try your best to stick with it. Yes, new rules will happen at different ages and these can be discussed ahead of time if there is a change coming. When this is appropriate, it is helpful to stop, get on the child’s level, look them in the eye, and describe the new expectation. Then have them repeat it.
When Kirby Worthington, co-founder of Growth and Giggles, was working toward her Master’s degree, she spent time as a director of a Montessori preschool. She had read research on repetition and decided to test it out. On a very cold winter’s day, after three days of freezing rain and no outside playtime at school, the sun came out and it was time to go outside again. However, under the swing there was a giant mud puddle full of the freezing rain. Before going outside she gathered the children and told them: “We’re going to get to play outside, and you can play on any of the equipment – except no swinging today”, and she explained about the puddle. As they went out the door, she stopped each child asking them, “Where are you NOT playing today?” And they would repeat back to her, “No swinging and no playing in the mud.” Do you know, the experiment worked and not one child broke the rule. She was outside observing their behavior and, sure enough, they had in their minds what to do and what not to do. And they stuck to it.
If they repeat it, they’ll likely complete it.
If you get children to say the rule or expectation, they’ll generally choose to listen to it. (Not always, of course; let’s be realistic!) It helps to have them repeat it the first time. But what really helps is to have them repeat the rule every time you have that expectation of them.
Colors are one of the first things that parents think about teaching their children. Teaching your preschooler colors can be a lot of fun.
You should wait to introduce colors until your child has a solid vocabulary of nouns. A preschooler's brain is wired to learn the names of objects before learning to describe those objects. Kids have what is called the "language explosion" between 18 and 24 months of age, during which they will be learning lots and lots of nouns. Work with their brains during this time by naming everything, and by not confusing things by adding adjectives.
After about the age of two, your child may be getting ready to learn colors. The best way to kick off this process is by having a "red day." (Really, it can be any color you want.) Pick a color, like red, and focus on it. Have everyone wear red. Pick red foods to eat. Pull out red blocks or red toys. Finger paint with red paint. Put up red streamers and balloons and hang red tissue paper over the window. Get as much red in your day as you can. Every time you see something red, point it out.
Get Kirby's 99¢ e-book with 121 ideas at Amazon.com.
