When Kirby Worthington, co-founder of Growth and Giggles, was working toward her Master’s degree, she spent time as a director of a Montessori preschool. She had read research on repetition and decided to test it out. On a very cold winter’s day, after three days of freezing rain and no outside playtime at school, the sun came out and it was time to go outside again. However, under the swing there was a giant mud puddle full of the freezing rain. Before going outside she gathered the children and told them: “We’re going to get to play outside, and you can play on any of the equipment – except no swinging today”, and she explained about the puddle. As they went out the door, she stopped each child asking them, “Where are you NOT playing today?” And they would repeat back to her, “No swinging and no playing in the mud.” Do you know, the experiment worked and not one child broke the rule. She was outside observing their behavior and, sure enough, they had in their minds what to do and what not to do. And they stuck to it.

If they repeat it, they’ll likely complete it.

If you get children to say the rule or expectation, they’ll generally choose to listen to it. (Not always, of course; let’s be realistic!) It helps to have them repeat it the first time. But what really helps is to have them repeat the rule every time you have that expectation of them.

“If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.” ― Albert Einstein

This is our task: To simplify the rules of living down to an age-appropriate level.

Keep things very simple. But not only for six year olds, Dr. Einstein; we’re reaching an even younger group here.

There are a number of helpful rhymes that Kirby, our resident expert, has come up with to aid us in remembering key concepts of child-rearing and development. We’ll be covering a few of them in the weeks ahead and will start off with this clever ditty:

After a recent move from the United Kingdom to the United States, my eight year old has taken to labeling herself as a “tomboy”. I’m not really sure what she means by it. I observe that she doesn’t enjoy sports as much as I did when I was a child. However, she has switched out her skirts for shorts or pants to fit in more with the culture around her. When does a stereotype become a type of who we are and what we do? When does a certain pattern of choices or certain actions begin to define our identity?

These are important questions for parenting, for the very way we talk to our children. Are we speaking to their choice of action or to who or what they are? By doing the latter, we begin to label them in some way, to define their identity. It may be second nature for us to label someone as good or bad: “Those are the good guys in the movie and those are the baddies.” However, it is really significant to our little people that they hear us speak to what their actions are and the outcome of those actions. Instead of saying “What a bad boy!” – thus defining the boy’s whole identity as “bad” – we could describe the choice as bad or the outcome of his actions as hurtful.

As we enter again into the rhythm and routine of autumn, let’s visit the ever popular topic of the morning routine. What this is depends very much on the age of the child. All ages of children leading up to school age in general find security in a routine and don’t do well with surprises or sudden changes taking them out of their normal rhythm. Your preference may be to make a chart or a list or use a big calendar. There are many ways to communicate with your pre-reading child what will be done today. Regardless of your preferred manner, here are some principles to keep in mind:

KEEPING IT SIMPLE KEEPS IT CALM     When preparing a routine for your little one, simplicity is helpful. It’s tempting to get swept up in the whirlwind of organized scheduling. Before you know it the day is packed out with wonderful activities to tick off. This can quickly become overwhelming to a small person. It can easily result in “acting out” (what we fondly call a tantrum).

REVIEW THE NIGHT BEFORE     These little ones don’t have long memories. So take them through their routine verbally the night before and again when they’re ready to start their day the next morning.